Well now, this is fun. It is 12 30 in the morning and I am sitting in the dark playing on my computer. Why you ask...I don't know! I'm tired and I want to go to sleep, but I just can't. There is too much stuff going on in my mind right now. But everyone I know is sane and are in bed right now. I have to be the retarded one that sits in the dark writing a blog to herself.
Question : How sad is it that I get butterflies when I talk to someone on the computer? And if you are reading this and you think it is you you are wrong...and vain. But you probably aren't reading this because you like my best friend. At least that was the consensus last time I checked but I think he likes my other best friend who is, ironically, the same girl that the other guy I like likes...if that makes sense. I hate...no, I loathe talking about myself but I can live with it when I am talking to myself and chances are no one is going to read this...nope, that's a lie I know one person that will read this and hopefully I am making no sense so I don't have to talk about it. I'm tired of thinking about it. I just want to move on with my life...is that too much to ask?
Apparently!
Let me think...I need to do something for myself. Really. I want to get out of here for alil while and be someone different. I don't want to be Jeana Lombardi. I want to be...the complete opposite if me. Just for a little while. Escape the crap hole that has become my life and relax. Something I never do anymore. I am working 24/7. ;LIERGJESRGHAEKRGFSEGJBSERGJES;RGAEGEJRGJVLEKVHNSELGBSE;RIGNERGSERGJBVEGNESKGN!!!\
Does this sound weird to you? I don't get my hopes up when I meet someone new because chances are they don't keep me in their life's long enough to say a full sentence. My friend thinks I'm being ridiculous...but do you know how bad it hurts when one day you have a lot of friends and then the next you're like a social pariah? It hurts...bad. I have blocked myself off from ever getting hurt like that again. That's not crazy right? You learn from your past and you make precautions for the future. That's what I'm doing. I am guarding my heart. No one knows all there is to know about me...Hell, I don't even know all there is to know about me. and I'm me!
This is so stupid. I don't write for a couple days and then it's along blog about nothing and me complaining about my life. I just needed something to do. I'm waiting...for someone I shouldn't be waiting on...this is not guarding my heart well. Prepare for war heart...we're about to fit another. There's just gonna be one more crack to putty up. you know what they say..."Time and a couple day laborers heals all wounds"...
STUPID NERDY PICKLE!!!
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